The Last Blog

The semester has gone by so fast, it's sad to think that I only have a couple more days in this Lit. class. I can honestly say that this was one of the most entertaining classes I've ever taken. The discussions were great, the topics were intriguing, and the teacher and students were awesome too. I knew from the first day that I would enjoy this class because I like fantasy, literature, fairytales, and the overall theme of the class. I was certainly not disappointed, and will probably always remember some of professor Sexson's wise remarks and sayings. Hopefully I'll be able to take another class with Mr. S sometime soon, but next year I am off to Spain for 8 months! I'll miss this class and it was a great experience. Thanks for everything :)

What I've learned

Even though I didn't write on the generic topic for my paper, I think it's worth mentioning what I've learned this semester. First, of course I've explored the concept that every story is a retelling of another story. Everything we come into contact with is connected in some way, and it's impossible to find a completely original story. At first I was skeptical, but after this class I realized that this is true. In every story, you can find the same archetypes of portrayed by different characters in different ways, but it all ends up similar. Even our own lives are retellings of other's before us and other stories. It's quite interesting once you get to analyze your own life and the stories you've read and see how each of them reltes to other stories.
In addition to retellings, I learned how to persevere trough a huge book.I can honestly say that I've never read a book as large as the Brothers Karamazov. At times I found my attention drifting, and I probably didn't really absorb some of the book, but i was still a rewarding experience and showed me that I have the ability to read a 700 page russian novel.
Also, I examined the idea that I can learn lessons and experiences from reading. Surely, I can learn through travelling and actual physical experiences, but I can also learn through reading.
In class I also learned about many archetypes. For example: the hero, the temptress, the trickster, the earth mother, the wise old man, etc. Each story without a doubt contains some of these archetypes, they are just represented in different ways. There are even these archetypes in our own lives. I'm sure we all know a wise old man, a caring mother, a trickster, some kind of temptress, and hopefully we are the heros of our own life story.
Some of the stories I enjoyed most this semester were: The lady with the pet dog, all the fairytale re-telling like Little Red Riding Hood and Cinderella, Antigone, and where are you going, where have you been. I also liked the poetry section, with poems like The Demon Lover and writing our own sonnets. There's something about being forced to condense your thoughts into specific lenghs that makes reading a poem especially powerful and full of emotion. Sonnet therapy is something I'll certainly consider whenever I feel down.
I'm sure I'm leaving a ton of things out, but these are the aspects of this class that will stick with me for many years to come.

Individual presentations

I'm so glad that I got my presentation out of the way in class yesterday. It feels so good to have that paper and presentation done. :) Anyways, I've really enjoyed listening to everyone present. Everyone had a unique idea and way of looking at the class of the Brothers Karamazov. Even if they did the generic topic, they all noticed different valuable aspects of the class. Some of the presentations that I enjoyed the most so far were Lena, Anne, Spencer, and James. Everyone had good presentations, but these few stood out to me. I liked how Lena wrote her paper in the form of a story about our Lit. class. It incorporated many things about stories that we have learned this semester and actually applied that all into her own story. I thought it was a really unique way to approach the assignment. Next, Anne had an interesting view on who the hero of the Brother's Karamazov was. Most people would choose between the most prevelant characters, perhaps Dmitri, Alyosha, Ivan, or Father Zossima. However, Anne came to the completely different conclusion that Illyusha was the hero. I'd never pondered this claim, but after listening to Anne's reasons, I can see why he could be considered the hero. Next, Spencer's presentation stood out to me. He seemed very at ease in front of the class and the dixie chicks song quote was a great and inventive way to end his speech. Finally, James entertained the class with his presentation by using south park. It was unique from every one else's approach and kept us all entertained. I'm looking forward to the presentation's tomorrow. Good luck everyone!

my Paper!

Ivan Karamazov
In the Brothers Karamazov, Ivan plays a vital role in the plot of the story. He has many defining characteristics, including strong beliefs on the idea of God and the world as a product of these beliefs. It is these powerful and thought provoking beliefs that help develop his character and the reader's opinion on Ivan. However, as the novel progresses, Ivan's thoughts on responsibility and his intellectual nature begin to cause him turmoil and ultimately end in his demise.
In this novel, each of the three brothers have a defining characteristic. Alyosha is religious, Dmitri is military-minded and Ivan is intellectual. Ivan ponders ideas and concepts deeply in the novel, and his strong ideas on God are most prevalent in a discussion between him and Alyosha concerning the torture of children. In this discussion, Ivan goes into depth on his ideas concerning God. At first, it may appear that Ivan does not in fact believe in God and that he is an atheist. However, this is not the case. Ivan does not reject God. He does believe in a God, it is the world created by God that he can not believe in. The examples that he gives to defend his beliefs are shocking, gruesome, and one of the most difficult parts in the books to read without evoking some kind of human emotion. Tales of a child shot in the face and an innocent child being torn to shreds by dogs secure his position and are difficult to refute. Tales like this make it difficult for even spiritual Alyosha to justify a God. He poses the question concerning how could he believe in a God and world that permits the torture of innocent children. Why would a world exist where people torture beings not old enough even to have sinned? Ivan hints that he would believe in a world that permits the suffering of adults, but the suffering of children is simply incomprehensible. He notes “Listen, if everyone must suffer, in order to buy eternal harmony with their suffering, pray tell me what have children got to do with it?” (Dostoevsky, Book V Ch. 4). These beliefs demonstrate Ivan's stance on the injustices of the world.
Near the end of Ivan's rant, he poses this deep question to Alyosha. “Imagine that you are creating a fabric of human destiny with the object of making men happy in the end, giving them peace and rest at last, but that it was essential and inevitable to torture to death only one tiny creature-that baby beating it's breast with it's fist, for instance- and to found that edifice on its unavenged tears:would you consent to be the architect on those conditions? Tell me, and tell me the truth!” (Dostoevsky, Book V Ch. 4 ). Alyosha, being a man dedicated to religion and God, cannot even consent to this, which in a way proves and validates Ivan's point. Clearly, after hearing about all of Ivan's beliefs, it is obvious that he is a man bursting with unending amounts of dilemma and despair concerning injustices in the world. These strong feeling affect him throughout the rest of the novel, particularly towards the end of the novel in his discussions with Smerdyakov.
In the novel, the reader can clearly see a relationship develop between Smerdyakov and Ivan. That relationship involves the two men being foils of one another. When Ivan first visits Smerdyakov, Smerdyakov begins to affect Ivan by telling him things he would rather not hear. First, he tells him that he actually wanted his father dead. In addition, he mentions that he left his father on the day of his murder because he believed his brother Dmitri was going to murder old man Karamazov, and he secretly wanted this. This seems to be the beginning of a complete downhill spiral for Ivan. The idea that he could in a way be responsible for the death of his father takes a toll on his conscience. Later on, Ivan visits Smerdyakov for a second time, and this time he continues to inform Ivan of his subconscious thoughts and desires. He tells Ivan that he wanted his father dead so that he could inherit a sum of wealth. Concerned and in turmoil over these assertions, Ivan visits Katerina, who shows him a letter from Dmitri promising to kill Fyodor Karamazov. This puts Ivan at more ease, and helps to convince him that he had nothing to do with the death of his father. However, even with Ivan's conscious put at ease, the worst is yet to come. On his final visit to Smerdyakov, he is confronted with a heartwrenching fact. Smerdyakov confesses that he killed Fyodor Karamazov. However, he does not accept full responsibility for the murder. He asserts that he would not have been able to commit such a crime had it not been for his discussions with Ivan. He claims that Ivan's beliefs and ideas gave him reason, justification, and permission to commit the murder. In other words, he gave him tacit approval for the murder. Therefore, Ivan is greatly responsible for the horrific murder of his own father.
Now, Ivan feels that he has the ability to prove his brother Dmitri's innocence, but he is equally troubled by the concept of his responsibility for the murder. The next chapter of the novel, The Devil, Ivan's Nightmare, represent the point at which Ivan Karamazov is driven mad. After Ivan returns home from his visit with Smerdyakov, he is met by a hallucination or dream representing the devil. The devil figure confronts him with all his doubts, weaknesses and fears and eventually causes Ivan to resort to madness. At first it is unclear whether the devil figure was a dream or reality, but that question is answered when Ivan says “Never for one minute have I taken you for reality. […] You are a lie, you are my illness, you are a phantom. It's only that I don't know how to destroy you and I see I must suffer for a time. You are my hallucination. You are the incarnation of myself, but only of one side of me....of my thoughts and feelings, but only the nastiest and stupidest of them” (Dostoevsky, Book XI Ch. 9). From my interpretation, the devil figure was created by Ivan's imagination and was actually a part of him, representing all his conflicts and some of his thoughts. When confronted with all of this and forced to look himself and face his thoughts he was unable to bear it all and went mad.
Overall, we can witness the path Ivan takes into insanity and how his intellectual nature affected this. As demonstrated by his rant on the idea of God and torture of innocent children, Ivan is frustrated by the world's injustices. Also, he seems to resist the thought that he has responsibility for the actions of humans, and maintains that humans are responsible for their own actions. However, his collapse into madness shows how his beliefs cannot justify the emptiness in his heart. In the end, he is forced to believe otherwise and ponder the possibility of personally bearing a role in his father's murder. Father Zossima held the belief that we're all responsible for everyone else, and that theme is brought to life with Ivan's dilemma. In a way, all of the brothers are responsible for the murder of their father. Even though none of them directly committed the crime, they each played a role. Dmitri admitted that he wanted his father dead. Alyosha didn't stop any of them from the crime. Finally, Ivan's discussions with Smerdyakov justified the killer's actions. Therefore, it seems like Smerdyakov wasn't the only one who bears a burden for the murder. This notion of shared fault contradicts all Ivan believes about personal responsibility.
In addition, Ivan's intellectual nature seems like a way to escape from others and retreat into his own thoughts. However, in the end yet again, he cannot remain separate. In fact, he becomes morally involved in the murder. Finally, when Ivan is confronted by the devil, his lack of complete faith in God gives him nothing to retreat to and no higher power to place his sanity in. Therefore, he is unable to remain sane and justify all the conflict happening within him and as a result, goes insane. His original beliefs of resenting the world created by God and the lack of acknowledging moral responsibility for other peoples actions turned against Ivan as the novel progressed. In his final great moments in the story, he way forced to bear responsibility for the actions of others as well as deal with the murder of his father, which he was made to believe was partially his fault. Overall, the intellectual nature of Ivan was not able to deal with Smerdyakov's accusations on responsibility, and the two characters are portrayed as foils of each other.









Works Cited
Dostoevsky, Fyodor. The Brothers Karamazov. New York: Barnes & Noble Classics, 2004.

April 21

I really enjoyed today's group presentations. The First group's presentation was really well put together. When I walked into class, I was impressed by their matching outfits, all of their props, the music, and how organized they seemed. It was a great idea to portray all of the archetypes and relate them to a recipe and how each part played a role in making the whole. It made complete sense and was entertaining. Plus, the cookies were delicious!

The second group's presentation was also really fun to watch. It reminded me of my group's presentation a bit, because it was re-telling a story we have gone over, but it was still unique and fun. Antigone had a really strong personality, which refected the story well. I liked how the story was in a modern setting. The skit was funny and Professor S. made a good point at the end about how we enjoy watching other people hurt themselves as long as it's funny. I now realize that it's true that we sometimes enjoy other people's suffering, no matter how cruel that may sound.

more group projects!

Our group did our presentation on Monday, and I think it went pretty well. Our group worked really well together, and I liked our idea of the re-telling of cinderella and the overall project idea. Most stories we only ever hear from one point of view, but it can be fun to imagine the background stories of the less prominent characters. It would be fun to imagine the story of the prince in Cinderella, because we know very little about him, or any prince in most fairytales for that instance, because most fairytales only focus on the story from the Princess's point of view. Anyways, I liked the story my group invented, Prince and all.

The first group did an interesting job as well. I enjoyed their idea of a debate, I never thought of anything like that for a group presentation. It really helped engage the class and get everybody fired up in discussion. Tim was a bit dominant in his group and made himself heard above everyone else, but overall it was a good debate. Although it got a bit off topic and by the end I could barely tell the original argument and which side each team was one, it was still entertaining. In my opinion, there are some books that can be genuinely boring. To me, these could be things such as golf magazines. I would get extremely bored reading a golf magazine, but my boyfriend, who loves golf, finds them really interesting. I think it just depends on your personal interests and imagination. Surely you can always use your imagination to make a book more interesting, but there is some material which can seem impossible to work with. If a book has enough substance and room for imagination, then anyone should be able to read it and if they are just to lazy or unimaginative to get through it, then you could say that they are boring people. So, I agree with both arguments to an extent, but neither of them completely. I'm sure looking forward to what tomorrow's presentations will bring :)

Plagiarism

In class we got into a little discussion on what plagiarism really means. According to a definition I found online, plagiarism is taking someone's words or ideas as if they were your own. From what we've learned in this class, everything is a re-telling so is it really not possible to take someone else's ideas? I don't think so. However, I think that the definition of plagiarism is getting at the point that you shouldn't intentionally copy or steal someone's ideas. If you just copy and paste someone's words, then you are plagiarising. However, if you truly try and use your own words and own interpretations and thoughts, then it is not plagiarism. But it's still interesting to think about how everything could be considered plagiarism if you looked at it a certain way. All of our thoughts someone else before us has likely thought before. Even if we think we're the only person in the world who has thought of something, we're probably wrong. But that's a little dismal. It's great to think that we are completely unique and we actually really are. No one else on the planet has lived our lives exactly. They may have had some of the same thoughts as us, but no one has lived our lives quite the way that we have.

Group Projects

I thought that the group projects on Friday were really well-done and entertaining. I don't know where, but I remember reading about how Pocahantas and Avatar basically have the same plot with different characters, setting,etc. Nevertheless, it was really interesting to see how closely the stories were intertwined and how you could make a trailer using the voice from Avatar and the pictures from Pocahantas and someone who hadn't seen either movie wouldn't know the difference. After learning about how every story is a re-telling of another, you could probably do that same thing with many movies. On Youtube, I've also seen how people put up pictures and scenes from a movie and play a song in the background and both stories fit perfectly together.

Also, the pyramid game was a great way to review for this class. I knew every word or phrase except for the last one, Anamnesis. I'm still not exactly sure what it means.........

The second group did really well too. Their skit incorporated so many different themes and stories from this semester. I found myself constantly picking up on what stories were involved while they performed the skit. I think if you write any kind of story, there will be themes and plotlines and archetypes from other stories even if that was not your intention. In fact, I'm pretty sure it's impossible to write a story that's completely original and unique. Other stories will always find a way to fit in. Also, every person has their own interpretation of which stories are involved within another, and everyone's interpretation is unique. Maybe someone can relate a story to what has happened in their life, maybe to a movie they've seen or book they've read. It is certain that the author didn't mean to involve all of these connections in their tale, but it just happens. I think Garrett mentioned something about how the Lord of the Rings could fit in perfectly with group 2's story, and it certainly can. I don't think group two specifically meant to do this, but that is the beauty of re-tellings.

Paper Idea

For my final paper, I want to write about the character Ivan Karamazov. I haven't devised an exact theseis, but I know that I want to examine Ivan's views about God, and look more into the chapter where he speaks about the torture of children and it's relation to his beliefs. Also, I want to examine how these beliefs affect him later on in the book when he goes insane and how that relates to his tragic downfall.

Ivan

In the Brothers Karamazov, one of the chapters that I found most intriguing was in Book eleven, dealing with Ivan. In this book, Ivan visits Smerdyakov. To me, it seemed like Smerdyakov tried to change Ivan's way of thinking, persuade him of things that might not have been true, and plant ideas in his head. Smerdyakov says his epileptic seizure on the night of the murder was real, and Ivan went to Moscow to be as far away from the murder that he suspected was to be committed. Ivan visits Smerdyakov a second time. This time, Smerdyakov tells Ivan that he actually wanted his fathers death so that he could attain some of the inheritance. So, he didn't say anything about his suspicions, in a way permitting his father's murder. This has a great effect on ivan because he feels responsibility and guilt for his father's murder. He goes to Katerina and she puts him somewhat at ease by persuading him that Dmitri is the murderer. Later on, when Smerdyakov sees Ivan, he admits to commiting the murder, but blames Ivan for also being responsible for talking him into it. Now, the part of the chapter I found most interesting to read was when Ivan goes home and finds a visitor in his room that appears to be a middle-aged man. The visitor turns out to be the devil, and he taunts and criticizes Ivan about all his weaknesses, flaws, and fears and this finally causes Ivan to go mad. When I first read this section, I was confused to if the visitor was real or a ghost. It was later I realized that the visitor represented the devil. This could have some interesting parallels with the issues of Ivans beliefs about God. Ivan couldn't fathom a God, and was ultimately driven mad by a devil and from guilt forced upon him. One could ponder if Ivan could have resisted going mad if he had been more like Alyosha, a man of faith. Then, he might have overcame his illness.

Men and Women arguing

I think Professor Sexson has a point about men and women arguing with each other. He mentioned that the whole situation ends up being pointless because we just don't understand each other, and we use that against each other. I have seen this all too often and heard people I know talking about it. One situation I can think of right now is between my best friend and her now ex-boyfriend. At times they got along great, but others times there was a great lack of communication and understanding. Towards the end of their relationship, they were just arguing alot. One of them always wanted something more or different from the other. I'm friends with both of them, so they would talk to me about their issues, and it seemed like they didn't understand each other. They tried to tell each other what they wanted, but it never seemed to work for long. My best friend wanted more space to be free while her ex wanted her to be his whole life, and she felt suffocated. She changed her mood alot and feeling about him also, and I think that he couldn't keep up with all her emotions. Also, her ex and some of my guy friends I know often talk about how girls are so confusing and never make any sense, while other times all my girl friends talk about how guys are stupid and can't understand the simple things a girl wants and that guys are more confusing. So there seems to be a conflict. Each gender thinks the other is too confusing, and thats where all the arguing comes in, when they say you can never understand what it's like to be me. In my life, it seems like often it's much easier for members of the same gender to communicate than members of opposite genders. In some cases guys and girls can be great friends, but usually your "best friend" is of your same gender. It's true that men and women are often significantly different, and maybe we'll never truly understand each other and the arguing will continue, or maybe not.......

The Brothers Karamazov

I actually finished the Brothers Karamazov soon after Spring Break. However, I'm still trying to untangle and work out some of the details of the story that I missed the first times through, so for now I'll talk about some of the parts of the story that jumped out at me. The first major part of the book that had an affect on me was when Ivan was talking about the torture of innocent young children. I found this part of the book hard to read because it was so graphic. Ivan gave several examples of torture. One was about a baby being killed by a gun. The baby was first made to believe the gun was a toy, and smiled and reached for it when the trigger was pulled. This was one of the most cruel things any human could do, especially to an innocent baby. Also, Ivan mentioned the tale of a young boy who was torn to shreds by dogs. One of Ivan's main points in this chapter is the fact that children have done absolutely nothing to deserve torture.
Some examples of what Ivan has to say on the subject:

-Why, the whole world of knowledge is not worth that child's prayer to 'dear, kind God!' I say nothing of the sufferings of grown-up people, they have eaten the apple, damn them, and the devil take them all! But these little ones!

-Listen! If everyone must suffer, in order to buy eternal harmony with their suffering, pray tell me what have children got to do with it? It's quite incomprehensible why they should have to suffer, and why they should buy harmony with their suffering.

Ivan's point is something I've never before thought of when dealing with the question of God. What kind of God would allow the torture of little children? His point is valid in a way, and I think that's why it is hard for Alyosha to respond to Ivan's view. Alyosha is a very religious person, but it would be hard for anyone to defend God who permits this kind of torture.

After reading some of the blogs about my classmates' suffering, I'm horrified at what these people have experienced, and how all of that suffering has been masked by their composure in class, but hidden behind everyone's untelling faces is a story waiting to be told. Admittedly, I feel like I haven't suffered much in my 18 years compared to others, but I do have a few tales. Like many people, I've experienced the death of a pet. I had a bird who went blind and died, a guinea pig who had to have an eye removed and then died, and my most traumatic death of my dalmation named Sally. Sally's death was very sudden and unexpected. She was 11 years old, and full of energy. She could chase her tennis ball without stopping for what seemed like hours on end. However, a couple summers ago, within a few days her back legs began to give out, and she had a hard time chasing her ball. Soon, she was unable to walk. We lifted her in the back of our suburban, took her to the vet, and found out that she had cancer. The cancer was too far along to be cured. We took her home and those next few days were terrible. She could barely move, so she spent most of the time on the floor of our house with either me, my sister, mom or dad beside her. Most of the time, we would lay beside her, stroking her. The nights were the worst. She'd wake up in the middle of the night yelping and whining for hours, and our whole family got little sleep. Finally, the morning of the 4th of July, we called the vet to our house and put Sally to sleep on the living room floor ( I watched the life drain out of her eyes as her head lay in my lap), and buried her with her tennis ball in the backyard.

Another sad story is when at age 18, my cousin got in a head-on car wreck with a semi. Both her and the little boy she was babysitting at the time died on impact. I've never been to a sadder funeral. Her mother didn't even come to the funeral because she was a meth dealer, and ended up going to jail for meth a few months later.

A few years ago, my family and I went to see my great-grandma in her coffin for the viewing at the funeral home. It was the first time I've ever seen my uncles and dad cry.

Another time that was traumatic was when my dad was sick with thyroid disease, and it was discovered and treated just in time- only a few days or weeks before he would've died in his sleep.

Also, I've seen things that affect the people around me and my community. A month before graduation, a classmate of mine attempted suicide, and I've never seen my whole senior class so sad and quiet at the news. Freshman year in high school, two senior boys were killed in a car crash on 19th, and it was another one of the first times I've seen my whole school community in such a dismal mood. Something else I've noticed is that we always seem to remember in detail specific moments when tragedy occurs. For example, I believe many of us know exactly what they were doing when they found out about 9/11. Even though I was only in 5th grade, I can tell you exactly where I was and what I was doing. no matter how tragic these moments are, the undoubtedly stick with us and we can reflect on them, learn from them, and become a better person because of them.

Happily Never After

On the topic of the tragic sense of life, I see a comparison from what we learned earlier in the year. When we were talking about the idea of "happily ever after" we concluded that this really isn't how the story ends. In fact, the real ending is much more dismal......we all die. All life ends in an undeniable, inescabable death. Depressing, isn't it? So if our lives end in death, what is the point of living? In class, professor Sexson mentioned the example of fruit flies, who only live for 24 hours. If I only had 24 hours left to live, I don't know what I would do. Surely, I'd speed up the pace and make sure I did as many worthwhile things as possible. Mainly, I think I'd spend time with the people I love and make sure that they know how much they mean to me. I might take a few chances, take greater risks, follow all of my instincts and not hold anything back. Overall, I would "seize the day". Even though it never really happens and we take the value of a day for granted, I believe we should live each day as if it were our last and make every day memorable somehow.

Something else I've noticed in my life is how many "almosts" we experience in our lifetime- things that if they would've happened, would have been life-changing and devastating. I've had my fair share of almosts. I'm sure I've forgotten alot of them because since they didn't turn into something big, they lost their importance. Surely, they pale in comparison to others, but I have experienced them. My dad "almost" died from thyroid disease at age 40, I "almost" jumped from a 30 foot bridge and landed on a jet ski (luckily I missed by a couple of feet at most), my uncle was "almost" paralyzed, and many more. I can't help but think how drastically my life would be different if these "almosts" had come true, and at the same time I'm extremely thankful for escaping the tragic "what might have beens".

The Tragic Sense of Life

"All is suffering, all is fleeting."



Monday in class we discussed the idea of this phrase. This is a very dismal and gloomy outlook on life. But is all life really suffering? In my opinion, a large part of our lives can be gloomy and without a doubt, we will all experience great suffering. Just by looking at someone, you can't really tell what they've been through. Sure, you might be able to conclude their current mood, but without knowing their life story, there's no way to know how much suffering they've experienced. However, it's inevitable if you asked, they'd have many tales of woe and suffering. But then again, don't we all? In my opinion, sometimes when something devastating happens to us, we can think that we are the only person in the world who something this tragic has happened to- but that is not the case. At the same time as your suffering, someone could be diagnosed with cancer, a young child's pet could die, and throughout the world thousands upon thousands could be going hungry. Suffering is occuring all day, every day, and sadly, we can never completely escape it.



Also, I think it's easy for people to judge others based on suffering. People can compare their level of suffering to others' and judge them based on that fact. People often think, "You can never understand what I've been through" when in reality, everyone has suffered.



However, out of all of this suffering can come happiness. This goes along with the phrase, "If you've never suffered , you can never be truly happy." To an extent. I believe this is true. If you've never been really gloomy, it can be much more difficult to appreciate the happy moments. If you're happy all the time, you'll never really know how happiness can truly feel. I've realized after a great deal of suffering, I learn to appreciate everyone and everything much more. Even a smile from a stranger passing by is more appreciated, and I learn to love the small things in life. If you look at a typical day, much of our life is spent alone doing common, boring things. It's the happy, more rare moments that we hold on and make life worth living.

Taste of the Ocean

Something interesting that came up in class yesterday was yet again the issue of traveling versus reading. Heather brought up the idea that unless you've actually experienced being by the ocean and tasting the salt in the air, you can never really imagine what this experience is like. The class had various opinions on this topic, some saying that it's possible and others not. I also have mixed views on the subject. In some way, I agree with Heather. I've been to the ocean, and experienced the taste and texture of the salty ocean air. It's a unique experience, and if I hadn't experienced it before, I think it might be hard to replicate in words. Some things are too unique to be described in words. However, on the other hand, there's a part of me that believes that books can describe things in such amazing detail that experience alone cannot. Some people don't have the opportunity to travel and experience everything, so books are the only way they can identify with those experiences. No doubt the experience they get by reading will be different from the real thing, but it can be just as powerful. It seems to me like reading and using your imagination to develop the experience takes more effort and more creativity than just experiencing it alone. You have to imagine and go into your own world and develop your own perception of something that will surely be unlike anything anyone else has imagined. So, it can actually be more rewarding.

The Brothers Karamazov

Reading the Brothers Karamazov has been quite and experience. Like most of the people in the class, I have never read a book this long. I think the closest I have been to reading a book this long is the last Harry Potter book. Still, there is not comparison between the two. Harry Potter was an entertaining and easy read. I read it non-stop for about four days, barely able to put it down. The Brothers Karamazov was...different. I can't even remember how long I've been reading it, but it's certainly been longer than four days. Like most people, I had trouble with concentrating on the book as a whole for so long and remembering all the parts when I started reading the book again. What I found was that every time I picked up the book, I found myself understanding the small, sub-stories that the author wrote about, but had a difficult time connecting how the specific thing I was reading applied to the story as a whole. So, sometimes it felt as if I was reading individual stories instead of a complete book, but I guess that is why it is so hard to read a book of this size. In fact, when I first heard we were going to read the Brothers Karamazov and saw it at Barnes and Noble, I thought for sure that there was no way out teacher would make us read the entire book. However, reading it really does give you a strong feeling of accomplishment, for doing something that not many people my age have done.

Sparknotes vs. the real thing

Reading the sparknotes version of the Brothers Karamazov instead of the real thing is like:

-Watching the Harry Potter movies instead of reading the books.

-Not getting any presents for your birthday.

-working really hard and only getting paid minimum wage.

-having to wear crutches to prom.

-taking a cold shower.

-getting the flu the day before you're wedding.

Travel vs. Books

In class, Prof. Sexson has often mentioned the debate between which is more valuable, traveling to place to learn about them or reading about places. Which is better? Which will be more influential on your life? Is one better than the other?

For me personally, I have mixed views on the topic. I think a mixture of both would be ideal. In my lifetime, I have never travelled out of the country. I've been to California, Texas, Florida, and a few states near Montana, but never out of the country. I have definitely read more than I have travelled, and I do believe that reading is an excellent way to take yourself to a completely different world. There are some books that I am intrigued by so much that all I want to do is read the book. It's as if the book is my reality and everything else is simply passing the time until I can read the book again. For me, this doesn't happen all the time, but only if I find the right book.

Despite the fact that books have enriched my life, I still have the strong urge to travel and experience a completely different culture. You can read about experiences or customs in books, but you'll never be able to feel what it's like until you have actually experienced it. Since I have never really travelled, the idea of other places like Europe is something almost mystical and far away from my reach. I can read about and dream about places, but somehow that's not completely enough for me. I know the places will be different from what I have read and imagined, but that is just part of the experience. So, I think that reading about a place and then travelling to that place and comparing your experiences is best. Reading and travelling are two unique experiences.

In the fall, I'm going to Spain for the school year. I've read about the city where I'm going and looked at pictures, but I know nothing I read or see in photos will compare to what it feels like to be there and experience it for myself. However, if I get a grasp on the basics of the city by reading, it won't be so much of a shock. All in all, I believe that travelling is a great way to enrich yourself, but reading is also a way to learn if you don't have as many opportunities to travel.

Final Sonnet

So I looked over and edited my sonnet for this final draft. It turns out that I only changed a few words and it is very similar to the original, but I think that I like it this way.

How blessed I am to have you in my life
The sight of you compels my soul to shine
I know this life will be met with no strife
If I may hold you close and call you mine

The way I feel when you look in my eyes
You're gaze revealin all I need to know
My love for you it cannot be disguised
And 'til the end my love for you I'll show

No matter if we're close or far apart
I'll keep you in my memory mile by mile
With you, at home will always be my heart
enraptured by your warm and splendid smile

And if there's one thing I know to be true
I'll always love the thought of me and you

Found Poem

I found the inspiration for my poem on the back of a Scope mouthwash bottle. The original writing was "Scope kills millions of bad breath germs. Its cool tingle gets your breath clean and fresh. Use scope for the confidence to get closer. Scope. Feel the tingle."

Get closer
Get closer
Bad breath
kills millions

Get clean
Get clean
Kill germs
scope germs

Get confidence
Get confidence
Use millions and feel
feel the tingle

Get cool
Get cool
Its fresh
for millions

Fresh breath
Clean, cool
Get closer
Get closer

Sonnet Draft

Here's my rough draft of the sonnet I wrote to my boyfriend of 1 year. I know some things need to be changed around, but here's what I have so far:

How blessed I am to have you in my life
Just seeing you causes my soul to shine
I know my life will be met with no strife
As long as I hold you close and call you mine

The way I feel when you look in my eyes
You're gaze revealing all I need to know
My love for you it cannot be disguised
And 'til the end my love for you I'll show

No matter if we're close or far apart
I'll keep you in my memory all the while
With you, at home will always be my heart
enraptured by your warm and splendid smile

And If there's one thing I know to be true
I'll always love the thought of me and you

So that's what I have so far. Feel free to give suggestions :)

Reflections

First of all I must mention that Garrett's blog was hilarious! It made class very enjoyable on Wednesday, and it would be a shame if you had missed it.

When going through Chekhov's version of "The Lady with the Pet Dog", I learned how we are supposed to read and pay attention the the little details. I have a tendency to look at a story as a whole rather than the individual details, and from this class I have learned how the individual details can show important things about the story. It was especially interesting to look at how Chekhov used words to portray ideas about females, such as how the "Lace on their lingerie reminded him of scales."

Next, we learned about sonnets. I love reading poetry. Sometimes a poem clicks with me and I can identify with it, while other times I have absolutely no idea what the poem is talking about and I have to break it apart and examine it closer to interpret it. In class, we learned about how four lines are called a quatraine. their are 14 lines in total, which means there are 3 quatrains and a couplet at the end. I haven't written my sonnet to my significant other yet, but it should be an interesting experience seeing his reaction when I give it to him.

I was looking through some famous sonnets, and I found many by Shakespeare and also this one by Elizabeth Barrett Browning that I instantly recognized.

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
my soul can reach when feeling out of sight
For the ends of being and ideal grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday's
most quiet need, by sun and candle-light
I love thee freely, as men strive for right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.
I love thee with a passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
with my lost saints,--I love thee with the breath,
smiles, tears, of all my life!--and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

Sonnet

I googled the term sonnet and this is what I found on Wikipedia:

"The sonnet is one of the poetic forms that can be found in lyric poetry from Europe. The term "sonnet" derives from the Occitan word sonet and the Italian word sonetto, both meaning "little song" or "little sound". By the thirteenth century, it had come to signify a poem of fourteen lines that follows a strict rhyme scheme and specific structure. The conventions associated with the sonnet have evolved over its history. The writers of sonnets are sometimes referred to as "sonneteers," although the term can be used derisively. One of the best-known sonnet writers is William Shakespeare, who wrote 154 of them (not including those that appear in his plays). A Shakespearean, or English, sonnet consists of 14 lines, each line containing ten syllables and written in iambic pentameter, in which a pattern of an unemphasized syllable followed by an emphasized syllable is repeated five times. The rhyme scheme in a Shakespearean sonnet is a-b-a-b, c-d-c-d, e-f-e-f, g-g; the last two lines are a rhyming couplet."

Whenever I think of sonnets, Shakespeare is the first person to come to mind. For this class, we have to write a sonnet and send it to the object of our affection, which I think sounds like alot of fun! I'll have to look through some examples of sonnets and get working on writing my own soon :)

Epiphany

In Chekhov's story The Lady with the Pet Dog. Professor Sexson told us to read the story and search for the word "sturgeon" and how it relates to an epiphany. I've read the story once already, and discovered that the main character comes to love for the first time. Nevertheless, I searched through the story again trying to find the word and how it relates to an epiphany. In the text, thw word appears in this conversation:
One evening, coming out of the physicians' club with an official with whom he had been playing cards, he could not resist saying:
"If you only knew what a fascinating woman I became acquainted with at Yalta!"
The official got into his sledge and was driving away, but turned suddenly and shouted:
"Dmitry Dmitrich!"
"What is it?"
"You were right this evening: the sturgeon was a bit high."
These words, so commonplace, for some reason moved Gurov to indignation, and struck him as degrading and unclean. What savage manners, what mugs! What stupid nights, what dull, humdrum days! Frenzied gambling, gluttony, drunkenness, continual talk always about the same thing! Futile pursuits and conversations always about the same topics take up the better part of one's time, the better part of one's strength, and in the end there is left a life clipped and wingless, an absurd mess, and there is no escaping or getting away from it- just as though one were in a madhouse or a prison.

This passage does indeed show an epiphany in Gurov. It shows that his opinion on women and on Anna Sergeyevna in particular has changed dramatically. He has finally fallen in true love. In the passage, it shows that he had the intense urge to talk about Anna, and speak about how wonderful she is. It seems to be a topic of great importance to him. However, that same enthusiasm about the subject is not shared by the official. Instead of staying on the topic of Anna, he speaks about spoiled fish, and this upsets Gurov greatly. It's probably the thought of his love being associated with something so unappealing and the topic being disregarded that upset him so much. Even though the official likely meant nothing by it and the words were common, they still had such a strong effect on Gurov, which shows his intense love for Anna, which is an epiphany for Gurov in the story. This happens in people's everyday lives as well. One simple word can cause a person to become extremely upset, even if the person talking meant no harm by it. Sometimes we bottle our feelings up so much that just the slightest thing can cause us to burst and show how we truly feel.

Female Archetype

when looking online, I found this description of the female archetype:

An archetype is a model of behaviour or pattern of energy that is easily recognisable and resonant to human beings. We can identify with and relate to archetypes as they are primary characters or personalities of the human condition.

Archetypes are everywhere. They are played out in fairy tales, movies, books, T.V. shows,, in our families, work environments, and amongst our friends.

Snow White (Princess) is an archetype. Homer Simson (Fool) is an archetype...so is Mother, Father, Son, and daughter. We instantly recognise what these roles are and how they are supposed to behave.

So the feminine archetype refers to models or patterns of womanhood and feminine behavior that are easily recognisable to us.

So, after reading this article I believe that all females are archetypes in some shape or form. There is no true original archetype because each female is a "retelling" of previous females.

The Lady with the pet Dog

In class, Professor Sexson said that out of the two versions of The Lady with the Pet Dog, it is likely that most people will enjoy Joyce carol Oates' version more because it is more modern. However, after reading both versions, I actually liked Chekhov's version more. True, Oates' version is more modern and uses a more common and relateable language, but Chekhov's version seems to be written more beautifully, with a more colorful and intriguing language. Although both of the tales involve adultery, there is something mysteriously beautiful abou the story. The idea of seeing someone on the street and wondering how your life would be different if you only got to know them better is intriguing. We are surrounded be thouands of people, but rarely give a second glance to any of them, except for the select few that we already know. A simple hello and the opportunity of a blossoming friendship could change lives drastically, but the abscence of that hello leaves for pondering the unknown, the aspect of "what could have been".
Each version of the story is told from a slightly different point of view. Chekhov's version focuses more on the man's point of view, while Oates' version focuses more on the woman. Despite theses differences, both tales involve an epiphany. In the first version, the man learns to truly fall in love for the first time. "Anna Sergeyevna and he loved each other as people do who are very close and intimate, like man and wife, like tender friends: it seemed to them that Fate itself had meant them for one another, and they could not understand why he had a wife and she a husband: and it was as though they were a pair of migratory birds, male and female, caught and forced to live in different cages. They forgave each other for what they wer ashamed of in their past, they forgave everything in the present, and felt that this love of theirs had altered them both." I love the way Chekhov uses language, and even though the second story is more modern, the first is more interesting to me.
The second story also involves an epiphany, but this time it involves her coming to love herself. In the story, she has self-loathing and suicidal thoughts, but in the end she finally overcomes these notions.

Araby

I just read the story Araby, and it has left me thinking and pondering what ideas could be hidden within it. In class, it was mentioned that the story could seem boring and uneventful, and that reading the story could seem pointless. However, I think that everyone can take something from this story. I, for one, can relate to the tale. The young boy falls deeply in love with a young girl. He watches her whenever he can and admires her, but never really gets the chance to truly know her. I think we all can relate to having a huge crush on someone who barely noticed us as a young child. In this way, the story brings out re-tellings of our own lives, each unique but similar to a common theme. Also in the story is the notion of finally getting the chance to make a difference, but failing. In the story, the boy plans on buying something at the Bazaar for his love, but the shopkeepers were not inviting and so he didn't buy anything. The story ends in anger and frustration, which we can all relate to in some way. There have been times in all of our lives when we have let the attitudes of other people bring us down or ruin our days. We let others have an affect on us, when we could have easily ignored them. Also, sometimes we don't allow ourselves to have triumph and reach our full potential, such as when the young boy lets obstacles get in the way of buying the girl a gift. I know that situations like this have happened in my life, so the story is very relatable.

Similes

After going through the story A Good Man Is Hard to Find, I discovered many intriguing similes. Two of the similes that stood out to me were:

His khaki trousers reached just to his hip bones and his stomach hung over them like a sack of meal swaying under his shirt.

He was busy catching fleas on himself and biting each one carefully between his teeth as if it were a delicacy.

Both of these descriptions conjured images of disgust in my mind when I read them. This must be the concept of "grotesque" that Mr. Sexson was talking about. When I first read the story, these small grotesque details did not immediately jump out at me. Instead, the story had a way portraying a dark, gray theme throughout. I suppose that this dark theme was a result of all the minor grotesque details such as the similes all combined into one story, and that overall had an impact on me. Now going back through the story, I can see if I take the time to read each and every word and think about each sentence, there are numerous grotesque aspects throughout. For example, the first simile is very vivid and actually disgusting. When I read it, I can't help but picture a man and the image of his stomach swaying back and forth. Likewise, the second simile also brings up images of dirty things. One usually pictures a delicacy as something unique and great; a food that is delicious. But after reading this simile, I can picture the monkey picking fleas and eating them carefully. I'm a very visual person, so so I can't help but picture a clos-up view of the monkey's teeth eating the flees. Overall, can see why Flannery O'Connor's writing is described as grotesque. It contains many odd and dark elements, yet is clearly effective at porttraying that gloomy mood.

Random Ramblings

So I suppose I should get caught up on some things I haven't yet blogged about.

First of all, I found the Little Red Riding Hood Collection very intriguing.The Charles Perrault version was the story that I was most accustomed to. It was short and simple, and the only thing dissapointing about it was the moral at the end. According to Mr. Sexson, you should not detach a moral from a story. There is no moral to a story. Instead, the moral IS the story.

The Grimm story was, as expected, more violent and contained more details. I can see how this version would be less appropriate for children. In one part of the story, the wolf's belly is violently cut open. I know if I was a young girl I would be disturbed by this idea. On the bright side, little Red lived.

I really enjoyed the version called Wolfland. It was unlike any other red riding hood tale I had read, yet it was written extremely well. The story reminded me of a mix of other fairy tales, including beauty and the beast, because it involves a young girl being trapped in a large house with a beast. In Wolfland, the grandmother turns out to be a wolf, which was an unexpected plot twist, but it gave the traditional story of Little Red Riding Hood a new, unique approach. It was as if the antagonist (the wolf) and the person Little Red trusted (the grandmother) were combined into one entity.

In class on Monday, proffesor Sexson talked about how everybody's story involves three stages. The first is when everything is "hunky dorey", home with mom and dad, in a symbol of harmony and perfection. Stage two is initiation, which involves pain. It involves conflict, fear, and unknown elements come into the equation. Pain is necessary because then the situation becomes embedded into your memory. The third phase is restoration, in which you return home, and go back to where you started from with experience. Thinking about these phases, I believe Mr. Sexson is right. I can't think of any stories that don't follow this structure in some way, and my life can certainly fit into this scheme.

Finally, I read the story A Good Man Is Hard To Find. In the story, "the Misfit" is a retelling of Arnold Friend. The story is similar to the story of Connie in many ways, and also reminiscent of countless scenes in movies involving a murderer and his victim begging him for mercy. The story was also violent (all of the initial family members died). I think the story exemplified how peoples attitudes can change drastically when put into life-threatening situations. The grandmother couldn't quit talking and trying to persuade the killer that he was a good man. I think she knew that his mind couldn't be changed, but to give up without trying would be a waste. It seems like in books and movies, whenever a victim is trying to talk to a killer, they always try to persuade them that they are a good person deep down, and that killing them won't do any good. Sometimes this strategy works, but often times it fails miserably. Also, I had mixed feelings towards the grandmother in the story. She didn't even want to go on the trip, but when pointing a finger to whose fault their death was, I can't help but criticize her. She was the one who wanted to take the detour, and who caused the car accident. if she had only been quiet, they might have never run into the killers. But I guess if that had never happened, we wouldn't have a good intriguing story.

The Lottery

I just read the story The Lottery by Shirley Jackson and I was quite shocked by it! Throughout the whole story, I was confused as to what exactly "the lottery" was and what the purpose of the story was. At the beginning, it seemed like the children were gathering stones to build a fort or play some kind of childrens game with. Then they all gathered in the square and began drawing pieces of paper out of a black box. I assumed that the person who drew the special piece of paper with the black dot on it would recieve some kind of surprise or reward, but I was horribly mistaken. Instead, Tessie drew the paper with the black dot, and the whole crowd stoned her to death with the stones that the children were gathering earlier! This conclusion was shocking and violent. I still don't know why it was tradition to do this every year, beacuse it just seems cruel to me, but I guess that it what makes the story interesting. If the story had ended with Tessie winning a large amount of money and going on her merry way, I probably wouldn't be reflecting on it now. I don't know the reason for the lottery, but it seemed horrible that the townspeople would all voluntarily do this with the risk of being killed. Nonetheless, it was intriguing how my perception of the story changed from the beginning, thinking that it was about children playing some innocent game, to the end, seeing that this game ended in murder.

"Landscape with the Fall or Icarus"

This painting is interesting and contains a few subtleties which would have gone unoticed at first glance. My first impression of the painting was that it portrayed an ordinary day somewhere near the mediterranean coast. However, when given a closer glance, I found some interesting elements that I had not seen before. I saw the ordinary people, sheep, and plants in the foreground, and the beautiful landscape, sea, and ships in the background. I wondered if this painting had anything special or unusual and then I saw it! In the right corner of the page is a leg in the water which must be Icarus as he is falling into the water. The poem that also has the title of the painting really fits the piece well.

Landscape with the Fall of Icarus

According to Breughel

when Icarus fell

it was spring

a farmer was ploughing

his field

the whole pageantry

of the year was

awake tingling

near

the edge of the sea

concerned

with itself

sweating in the sun

that melted

the wing's wax

unsignificantly

off the coast

there was

a splash quite unnoticed

this was

Icarus drowning

I think this poem exemplified what was seen in the painting perfectly,especially in the last two stanzas, when it speaks about Icarus being completely unnoticed. You could see the people and scenery going on with life normally as if nothing was amiss. However, if one looks closer, you could see a man drowning. This concept reminds me of our everyday lives. We can go through life without examining the smaller details and simply looking at the bigger picture and choose to be completely content. However, if we examine the seemingly normal world around us, we'll discover things and people out of order. Then if we choose to do so, we can make an impact on the world and other people's lives rather than being ignorant.

This painting and poem also reminds me of people who are bold and take risks. Icarus took a large risk by trying to escape and then flying too close to the sun. Instead of suceeding, his mission failed, but if he had suceeded, it would have been marvelous. This concept also applies to our lives. Some people go through life without taking risks, while others are brave and take chances which may or may not work. If someone takes a huge risk and suceeds, it's possible that they could make a better life for themself and gain great amounts of fame. However, if their plan doesn't follow through, they do something stupid, and don't suceed, then maybe no one will ever know about them. They might easily fall into the ocean and drown unnoticed like Icarus. So is it better to take risks with the chance of failing, or to take no risks at all with an assurance of safety? The decision is up to us in our own stories.

Psyche and Eros

I just googled the story of Psyche and Eros, and throughout it I saw elements of other stories we have read. Psyche means "soul", and Eros (Cupid) represents love, so the story is of how love and soul come together. At one point in the story, Psyche sneaks up on Eros and glances at his face, while she was specifically forbidden from looking at him and seeing his true form. This reminds me of when Mr. Sexson was talking in class on Wednesday about a common theme in stories, which is "don't look". We can see this theme in Medussa, The Wizard of Oz, and now Psyche and Eros.

At another point in the story, Psyche has to seperate types of lentils in a room as a task from Aphrodite to recieve forgiveness. In the story, ants come and help her complete her task. This was extremely similar to the Grimm version of Cinderella, in which birds help Cinderella seperate lentils. It also relates to the Disney movie version of Cinderella, in which mice help her make her dress to go to the ball. Each story involves the same concept of animals helping a desperate maiden in some task, but each story is unique and a retelling of the next.

Happy Endings

In class Mr. Sexson mentioned the concept of happy endings. He had us analyze the story of Cinderella and come up with what really happened after prince charming and Cinderella were married. Did they live happily ever after? Most likely the answer is no. It is up to our imaginations to determine what could happen after the story ends, but it is inevitable that eventually the story will end in one way: they both die. I had never really thought of looking past the generic "happily ever after" and pondering how the story must really end.

Then I read Happy Endings by Margaret Atwood, and it made me think further into the issue of happy endings. It basically fillowed this question:

John and Mary meet,

What happens next?

Well, the fairytale answer is that they both fall in love and live joyous lives, eventually ending with them both dying. However, Atwood gave many alternate versions of the story, involving suicide, lust without love, unrequited love, murder, and adultery. Certainly, this is not the kind of fairytale story we all want to here, but not every story ends happily. Atwood goes on to say that the only aythentic ending is the one provided here: John and Mary die. John and Mary die. John and Mary die.

This seems morbid, but in reality it is the truth that most of us, including myself, ignore. When watching a movie and two lovers get married and walk off the screen completely in love, you rarely think about how their story will really end: most likely in one of them dying, the other one continuing to live without their love, and then dying themselves. It's somewhat depressing to think about this. When I get married and plan to spend "happily ever after" with someone, it will be sad to think that one of us will die before the other, and every story ends in death, so my happily every after will have a bitter ending.

There is one love story, however, that has somewhat of a happier ending, and that is the movie The Notebook. True, the movie ends in the death of both lovers, but they die together in each others arms. In love stories, that seems like more of a happier ending than spending ten or twenty years of your life in sadness after your lover has died, as I have seen many of my grandparents go through.

I guess we just need to accept that, however sad it may be, there is one sure ending to all of our stories, and that is death. It is up to us to make what's comes inbetween worth it.

Strange Dreams

Last night I finally remembered one of my dreams! I was going into a big department store with my cat Sammy, and when we walked in the door, he jumped from my arms and ran away. When I went to go find him, there were suddenly gray cats everywhere that looked exactly like Sammy! Identical gray cats were everywhere I looked, and I frantically began to search for my Sammy. It was traumatizing because no matter which cat I looked at, it wasn't him, and I began to forget what he looked like because they all looked so similar. I felt like a horrible cat-owner because I couldn't recognize my own kitty! I coninued to run around the store until I woke up....and never found Sammy. It was not a great dream and I hope it never comes true!

Groundhogs Day

So, today was groundhog's day and this is an overall journal of my day!

3:36 a.m.- My alarm goes off and I really don't want to get up. I get up anyways and get dressed, wash my face, put up my hair, gather up my school stuff, and head down stairs to the front desk of my dorm to work.

4:00-8:00 a.m.- I sit at the front desk, watch the security cameras, make sure no boys are walking around the dorm, let the kitchen people in the door and give them the keys, and attempt to do some homework while I'm still so tired. I do key inventory, count money, sell stamps, give people their printouts, answer the phone, and finally my boss shows up at 7:50 to take over for me. She shows me how to do mail-forwarding and then I can leave!

8:00 a.m.- I go upstairs to my dorm, take a long hot shower, get dressed in jeans and a black-longsleeved shirt, braid my hair, and make my bed (which has a tinkerbell fleece blanket on top :). Then, my roomate Nicole and I watch the morning cartoons on Disney.

9:00 a.m.- My boyfriend David comes to my dorm and looks at Nicole and I weird for watching cartoons. Then, we go downstairs to have breakfast. I have scrambled eggs, a slice of french toast, and milk. Then I go back upstairs and take a nap while David and Nicole watch the t.v. series Chuck.

11:45-1:00-I go off to math class in Wilson Hall and learn about how to teach elementary school kids math.

1:00- I come back to the dorm and have lunch/catch up on some homework while Nicole and I watch Desperate Housewifes.

2:10-3:25- I go to my Lifespan and Human development class across campus in Cheever Hall. I pick up a white hot-chocolate on the way. In class, we talk about the birthing process and watch a lot of graphic videos showing mothers giving birth. Mothers in the class also discuss what giving birth is really like. We discuss all the steps, possible problems, and everything we need to know about birth. I seriously reconsider ever having kids because of the horrible images and stories I had just witnessed.

3:30 p.m.- I walk back to Hannon with Bree, and then go up to my room to start writing my study abroad essays, write some e-mails to people, and check facebook. I listen to my i-pod and then look for a 10-page document I had written and saved over the weekend....and discover thet it is missing! I freak out and call David to find out where it could be. After getting instructions, I still can't find it, so David starts walking over to my dorm to help me. Meanwhile, my mom calls and we talk about going to Spain this summer.

5:30 p.m.- David comes over and after about 45 minutes of searching, tells me that he can't find my document either. I become stressed! I have a ton of homework, but somehow David distracts me and we end up eating homemade red applesauce, which is delicious by the way! My mom calls again and we talk about financial aid stuff. Then David starts eating peanut butter by the spoonful while I try unsuccesfully to do homework.

9:00- David leaves so that I can actually get some homework done, and I start writing this blog while listening to country music on pandora. After this, I'm going to have to start re-writing that lost 10-page paper! It's gonna be a long night!

The end! Well, that was pretty much my whole day in a nut-shell. Happy Groundhogs day :)

Earliest Memory...and more

The first memory I can recall was at my second birthday. I remember wearing a frilly colorful dress, my hair curled, and sitting on the kitchen table in front of my cake. My relatives were all surrounding the table, getting ready to sing happy birthday to me. My dad, back when he used to have hair, sat behind me while I perched on the table. My whole family sang happy birthday to me, and when they finished, my dad told me I could take a bite of the cake. So, instead of waiting for a plate, I threw my whole face in the middle of the cake and took a moutful. I lifted my head up and my face was covered in while frosting, and there was a face-sized hole in the middle of the cake. All my relatives laughed and were surprised.

Over the weekend, I also read the three versions of Cinderella. The Disney version was very familiar and was the cinderella story I was used to. I'd heard of the Grimm version before, but had never read the whole story. I was surprised at how gruesome and violent it was, with the stepsisters cutting off parts of their feet, and birds pecking out their eyes. I can see why Disney sugar-coated the story for young children. If not, it might have been more of a horror story. The Chinese version was extremely different from both of the previous ones, and I didn't enjoy it as much, but it had an interesting take on the story. Overall, I liked the grimm version the best. Even though it was violent, it gave many details and I felt like it explained the story more fully.

Overall, the story of Cinderella is the story of "rags to riches", and there are so many modern versions and interpretations of that theme that it would be impossible to name them all. Just a few of the recent films I can think of are Ever After, A Cinderella Story, Enchanted, and Ella Enchanted.

Since this class involves alot of fairytales and retellings, it makes me think of one of my favorite movies: The Tenth Kingdom. It's actually a t.v. mini-series at 7 hours long, but it's always been one of my favorites. The story combines numerous fairytales, such as cinderella, snow white, little red riding hood, the three little pigs, and rumplestilskin, alone with many other fantasy elements. If there could be any story that involved the retelling of countless fairytales, the tenth kingdom would be that story. As far as I can tell, not many people have seen it. Nonetheless, I highly recommend it.

Eaves dropping!

Yesterday I finally got around to recording some eavesdropping at the Leaf and Bean. it was slightly hard to hear over the noise of the coffee being made, but I got the general point of the conversation. I was eaves dropping on two ladies who looked like they were in their thirties. They started off by talking about downhill skiing, and the from then the topics flowed in this order:
*Food- they wanted to go to Tai restaurant, and were also intereted in a new pizza place they heard about
*The housing market, and how much their insurance is and how the price of it has changed in the last year
* What they are going to do for Valentines Day. One of the ladies said she would rather go out and get french fries instead of going to a fancy restaurant for dinner, in order to save money.
* Then they discussed shoes, and one mentioned how she wants to walk to dinner as long as she doesn't wear "ridiculous shoes". They also discussed cute jeans, and how they want skinny jeans so they can fit boots over them.
*Being pregnant: they talked about what they ate when they were pregnant. One lady said she ate a pint of ice cream every two days for six months while pregnant.
* Finally, they discussed "UGG" boots, and how they are a waste of money

Overall, they talked about general things you would expect to hear in a conversation between two females...shoes, clothes, food, etc. Nothing was terribly exciting, but nonetheless eavesdropping on people was fun to try. I think this example helps to prove Mr. Sexson's point that people are boring, and that if you drop in on a random conversation, it is likely that you will find it boring or ordinary.

Smooth Talk

After wathcing bits and pieces of the movie Smooth Talk in class, I now have the urge to go out and rent it to see how the whole story plays out. I must say, I didn't really enjoy the movie as much as I thought I would. Maybe it was the unsatisfying ending, but it just didn't feel right. The beginning part that we watched strayed from the actual short story, but it was well-done. The last part that we watched, however, seemed to be scripted word for word from the short story. It felt as if the last portion we watched was the whole short-story, and made me wonder what the rest of the movie consisted of. In the movie, Connie was portrayed well. She captured the coyness and innocence of the character in the story. At first, when she was talking to Arnold friend, she appeared to enjoy the attention, leading him on, teasing him, and making it seem like she enjoyed this unknown-man coming to her. After a while, though, the fright kicked in. The scene with Arnold took a long time to play out, and at times I wanted the story to hurry up and finish, but it was effective. As in the book, Arnold had a way of talking and persuading which required no physical force, only effective words.
Recently, I went to the movie The Lovely Bones, and it seemed like a retelling of Connie's story. In the movie, the murder meets his young female victim in a field, and uses his "smooth talk", and appeals to her innocent nature in order to lure her to her death. Both stories involve the snatching of innocence through means of effective and convincing language.
The ending of the movie was dissapointing. In the book, I got a much different impression of what happened. To me, the ending of the book implied that Connie drove with Arnold, and he took her to some bare piece of land where he stole her innocence. Then, maybe it's my dark tendencies, but I got the impression that he killed her and buried her in the same field where he stole her innocence. The movie ended much differently, with Connie and her sister dancing...an almost happy ending that disappointed my perspective on the story. Still, despite this final dissapointment, I think I'll still go rent the movie to see how the entire story plays out.

To His Coy Mistress

In class Prof. Sexson mentioned and talked about the poem "To His Coy Mistress". The overall point of the poem is a man asking or convincing a woman to sleep with him. He talks about how if he had all the time in the world, he would take eternity to admire every part of her, but unfortunately time is always moving forward and before long death will come, so therefore they should make love sooner rather than later. This poem made me realize the power of words and how language is used. The way the language in the poem is used is very fluid, romantic, and convincing. The poet uses beautiful phrases like:
"The last age should show your heart.
For, Lady, you deserve this state,
Nor would I love at lower rate."

"The youthful hue sits on they skin like morning dew."

"Had we but world enough, and time,
This coyness lady, were no crime.
We would sit down, and think which way
To walk, and pass our long love's day"

The language can't help but draw you in and make you want to listen to more. However, reflecting back on the subject of the poem, I can imagine how the same idea/question might be posed in a horrible, unthoughtful manner in modern day language. If a man were to use a much different form of language to convey the same idea, perhaps using casual slang or innapropriate terms, he would likely not be very succesful in getting what he desires. The poem, however, would likely generate a much different response for the woman. The simple way in which a man speaks to a woman can prove highly effective in love. She would see that the man actually cares about her, instead of thinking about her as something unvaluable.

Also, Prof. Sexson mentioned modern pick-up lines. Most of them are hilarious and many guys would fail at winning a girl's affection with such lines. I'm interested in if any of the boys in class are going to do the assignment on reciting a Shakesperean love poem to a lady, instead of a pick-up line. I wonder if it will actually work. It probably has the potential to work, but the guy has to appear sincere, honest, use a soft gentle voice, and be convincing, otherwise it could be a complete disaster.

How do we know what we think until we see what we say?

In class on Friday, we discussed the meaning behind these words. The main point behind this saying is that we must write down our thoughts in order to truly discover what we think. Without writing down our thoughts, life can become very comfusing. However, when we write down our thoughts, we are organizing our ideas. Then, we can look back on these written ideas and see what we believe. In my own life, I often write down my thoughts. Especially at this point in my life, I'm unsure about how I want my life to play out, the direction in which I want it to go, and what steps I need to take to reach my goals. So, I've often kept a diary or just written down my plans on paper. This has helped me to look back on my thoughts and try to organize my ideas and figure out the person that I am. I've found that once I write down my thoughts and look over them, it is then easier to discuss them with other people. Going through life without writing things down makes me feel lost and unsure, but once I have written ideas, it is easier to make decisions and know myself better.

Retellings

After "perusing" our Lit. class textbook, I've decided that I'm going to likely enjoy this book. I've always been a fan of fantasy, fairy tales, and mystical stories, and this book appears to be filled with those types of stories. The first story I noticed was Cinderella by the Grimm brothers. My little sister actually has a book filled with the original versions of the Grimm brother fairy tales, and they are surprisingly dark, shocking, and even gruesome- certainly not the Disney "retellings" of the tales. For example, I recall that in the version of Cinderella, the evil step-sisters cut of part of their toes to make the glass slipper fit. I'm not sure if this is the Grimm version of the tale, but it is certainly different than the child-friendly versions. I've always had an interest in learning the origins of fairy tales and how they have changed and been adapted over the years, so I look forward to exploring them. On a similar note, versions of Little Red Riding Hood and Peter Pan also caught my eye. Being a visual person, the pictures in the text clearly jumped out at me. There weren't many, but I recognized many of the visuals used, such as the painting Starry night and the movie cover of "Home Alone." Also, I noticed that every chapter began with a photo of the Mona Lisa, and I wonder if this has any significance as an overall theme of the book.
The book is filled with a wide variety of genres of writing. Poetry, drama, essays, fiction stories, etc. are all included. I was interested in the poetry sections specifically. I find longer stories can easily bore me, but compact poetry forces me to decipher each word, line, and phrase as if it were some type of secret code. I also noticed a section of the book with music written in it, maybe relating poetry to music, which I found intriguing because I play the piano. Going through the book, I recognized many of the stories from high school, such as The yellow wallpaper, the poem Daddy, and a few others.
Finally, there were some items in the text which I wanted to examine deeper and certain sections of the text that intrigued me more than others. Being a fantasy fan, The section about Monsters and Heroes, and Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde caught my attention. Towards the end of the book, there were biographies of each author which I believe could me understand each authors writing style. The final thing that struck me about this text was a section called To his coy mister: A seize of the Gay poem. It seemed like an odd name, so I'm curious as to what it entails. Overall, this text promises to be an intruguing and enjoyable read. :)

Where are you Going, where have you been

I remember reading this story freshman year of high school, and here I am a freshman in college reading the same story. Even though the words are the same, it is a completely different experience reading the text. I found myself reading slower and really absorbing every detail of the story. There's something about the tale of Connie that grabbed my attention. Here is this young girl, more concerned with her beauty and social status than anything else, and she is about to be taken advantage of by an older male. I felt myself relating to the story and acting out what I would do if I was Connie. I wanted to reach into the text, shake her and tell her to run! I wanted to make her do more than just standing in the doorway, give her a chance to survive. In the story, it felt as if the moment Arnold drove up to Connies house, she had already decided her fate. She already knew that she was going to die. Even though I was not very fond of Connie's character to begin with, I still thought she should at least put up a fight and get a chance to escape unharmed. The end of the story was shocking and sad. In the tale, I despised Arnold Friend, and the fact that he was actually a real person made it even more unbearable to imagine. His physical appearance didn't seem to be intimidating, but the ease and tone in which he spoke seems much more menacing. It was as if even if she tried, Arnold knew that there was no way she could escape. Overall, this story was frightening and made me think twice about people like Arnold.

January 13

Yesterday was the first day of class for Lit.110. After only a few minutes, I could tell that the class was going to be fun and entertaining- and I hope I'm right! The professor seems joyous, and even taking roll turned out entertaining and funny. The only part of the class that Im slightly worried about is the 700 page book we have to read, but hopefully I will make it through alive. I've never blogged before, so this is a new experience and hopefully it works :)